Sunday, December 4, 2011

Missing in Action: Kris Boyd

Kris Boyd. Once considered the great hope for the Scotland national team. A natural penalty box striker with a prolific goal-scoring record for Rangers and Kilmarnock, Boyd was acclaimed as the modern day answer to Ally McCoist.

McCoist....nothing compared to Boyd...

I was massively insulted on McCoist's behalf at the time and today I write this blog piece with the look of a cat who has just bagged the biggest tub of cream in the supermarket as I read the headline: "Boyd told to improve or his Turkish dream could become a nightmare" as his Chairman threatens to boot him out of his new club for under-performing.

I'll lay it out plain and simple - the boy is a waster. He has always been a waster and, I hope, will never again be able to fool people into thinking he's useful as a professional footballer.

Boyd scored a lot of goals for Rangers and today, embarrasingly, tops the charts for highest goalscorer in the SPL-era (1998-2011) ahead of the best foreigner to ever play the game in this country - Henrik Larsson. I'm sure, to Kris Boyd, that makes him somehow better than Henrik. At least equally as good as him.

Henrik Larsson....King of Nothing compared to Kris Boyd....

Personally, i'd say Boydy is closer to being of the same ability levels as the chap at No.10 in that SPL all time top scorers list - Colin Nish. No disrespect to big Nishy though. In fact, the big man probably works harder and offers more to a team than Boyd ever did or ever will.

At Rangers, he wasn't fancied by Le Guen or Walter Smith, at Scotland he wasn't fancied by Smith, McLeish, Burley or Levein - because his work-rate was abysmal, his link-up play was atrocious and his game intelligence was comparable to that of an inflatable mattress. Yet thanks to players like Kenny Miller and even Nacho Novo, Boyd was able to rack up a fantastic total at Ibrox, convincing a host of clubs he was a decent footballer.

The biggest surprise for me was that he fooled Gordon Strachan - who had seen him first hand for four seasons in Glasgow - who took Boyd to Middlesbrough from Rangers on a free transfer to help fire the Teesiders to the Premiership. Boyd instead lasted about a dozen games in the starting line-up before he revealed himself to be a bit rubbish, finding himself benched for the rest of the time under Strachan and then....even more so under Tony Mowbray.

Boydy looking overweight at Middlesbrough...

Still though...he just needs service, needs a break, needs a club to appreciate his unique talent.

Only one logical place for the big man to choose to go.....Real Madr....wait...what? Eski┼čehirspor? That team that finished mid-table in Turkey? Why is Boyd going there?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.....40k a week! Who are the bloody mugs now?

After only 76 MINUTES that's MINUTES on the pitch he's been shown be an utter waste of space and finds himself...well...not even warming the bench but sitting in the stands in a huff....again!  I wonder how much Boydy actually gives a toss in reality though? I suspect not that much. He'll undoubtedly fool someone else into taking him back after his time in Turkey ends.

Obviously the Turks won't have appreciated his unique talent, they'll not have provided him with the ammunition he needs to be a success. That'll be it, Boydy, eh? It's down to other people that you've not turned out to be the next Ally McCoist.

Or is it because you are an awful footballer with a stinking attitude who simply refuses to learn and listen to those who have tried to help make you a better footballer?

Shambles of a guy.


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  2. "frank said...

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    Obviously a big fan of Kris Boyd then.

  3. Being a bit unfair to Colin "Yer Pish" Nish - who at least works hard and perseveres despite his poor first touch & lack of skill. He scored a few for Alloa when on loan - when he was paired with Martin Cameron

    If Boyd worked as hard as Nish - or say Tevez - he could have been a great player / goal-scorer. But like a good many players before and after he is happy with relative mediocrity.

    1. Agreed with assessment of Nish. Guy works his socks off. Was more as an indictment of the "top SPL" scorer stat. The "all time" figure that sees McCoist at the top seems like the better comparison base!

      Boyd as you say is very content with mediocrity. Consciously or otherwise! Guys like him, O'Connor & Riordan are of the same mould!